The weather needs to stop being a slut and just give it up already. I’m tired of all this Spring weather and then Winter is like “just kidding bro” and it snows or something like that.

ugh

I don’t know. I wanted to spill my guts on this one about how and what I’m so upset about right now but it isn’t appropriate and would just start surpluflulous drama.

I’m making my brother an administrator on my site. Tang-yaroo is going to transition into a nondescrimitory gender blog. I want everyone, if they want, to be able to blog, not just women.

Once I’ll get my package I’ll blog again.

Back on track to I’m doing a candy swap with someone in the UK!

I’m going to now tell you how my candy hunting expedition went. As posted earlier, my brother came down to visit me last weekend. I had planned on  going candy shopping then but, unfortunately, I caught what I can only describe as the kid sister of the bubonic plague. I literally cannot walk any sort of distance without having to sit down and catch my breath due to the amount of lung butter that is manifesting inside my chest. I realize that is a disgusting description, but it’s the truth. So for a week  I’ve been drugged out of my fucking mind on different decongestants and expectorants trying to get this shit out of my lungs.

Mmmmm candy

I figured I wasn’t going to be able to walk far and it was going to be a shorter less enjoyable candy hunting expedition than I had planned. I really wanted to take my time and get the brightest, weirdest, and yummiest candies but sadly I had to settle for an endcap at Target because if I walked a foot more I literally would have passed out from lack of oxygen. I also felt pressured to get shit done since my person has already sent out my package as well as Oklahoma weather is insane and I don’t want the chocolate to melt.

Per request I purchased  beef jerky, Butterfingers, and Baby Ruths. Now, I’ve never eaten a Baby Ruth, but I figured since I see people eat them on a regular basis that they would be easy to find. Uh, wrongo. To find them I had to buy a $15.00 back of mixed chocolates from Nestle that also contained miniature Butterfingers.

A list of everything I purchased for her:

• Jack Links Beef Jerky in original and teriyaki
• Cheddar and Sour Cream Ruffles
• Crunchy Cheetos
• Snickers Almond
• Sour Patch Kids
• Air Heads
• Reese’s Mini Peanut Butter Cups
• White Chocolate KitKat bar
• Hershey’s Cookies ‘N’ Creme bar
• Mounds and Almond Joy because sometimes you feel like a nut and sometimes you don’t
• Reese’s Big Cup
• M&M’s Pretzel
• Swedish Fish
• Skittles Darkside “The Other Side of the Rainbow”
• Butterfinger
• Fun Sized Butterfingers
• Fun Sized Baby Ruth bars
• Butterfinger Bites

Before I caught the plague I wanted to add a Zero bar and some Rainbow Twizzlers. I was thinking maybe some Mexican candy but I feel like shit and I feel like this is enough candy from the US to last her at least 3 months. I also bought her a PayDay bar but I may or may have not drank an entire bottle of wine yesterday and may or may have not consumed the PayDay bar and might have eaten the  mystery Air Head… You’ll never know.  Yes, I do realize the wine isn’t helping my situation but do you know how many fucks were given yesterday? Not one…not one at all.

I’m hoping to get this stuff shipped out tomorrow but we’re supposed to get slapped by Jack Frost’s pimp hand tomorrow…again. We shall see.

I’m still kind of out of it. I apologize for typos.

In the late 80′s and early 90′s there was this huge dance craze called The Lambada… I keep saying it in my head with a Latin-y accent even though it’s Portiguies. Anyway, a big dance craze which was basically people having sex with clothes on generated soundtracks and movies.

I want to stop right here and just advise you that my incoherent rambling are heavily influenced by Nyquil, that Tussin, and liquid Mucinex.  I feel like shit, straight up.

Due to my ailment I’ve been sleeping and watching TV all day. I came across the movie Lambada on Netflix. Now I had, or thought I had, heard about this movie but I was wrong. There’s also a movie called The Forbidden Dance which is also about the Lambada but it’s being done to save the rain forest.  Anyway,  I decided to blog the top 5 things I learned from Lambada.

5. This movie has an actor named Shabba Doo in it. No, I’m not kidding.

4. People in the early 90′s thought the Single White Female hair cut, shoulder pads, and “mom” jeans were stylish.

3. Janet Leveson from the Office was a little hot for teacher Jezebel in this movie. Uncomfortable.

2. Get yo’ education boo boo.

1. This movie had nothing to do with the Lambada.

I feel like I want the two hours I just wasted watching that movie back.

Which then lead me to this video:

I had already purchased a ton of Japanese Kitkat bars and pocky before I saw that video, but this prompted me to find these Popin’ Cookin’ kits. I purchased two of them off a store from eBay. I’d link you but I have no idea what my eBay infomation is but I have liked their page on Facebook which links you to their store.

Any how, I purchased two kits from the store. The sushi shop one and the bento box one. I haven’t made the bento box one but I did make the sushi one at work on Thursday. I wouldn’t say I’d ever purchase it again but it was super fun. Per the video you mix the color coded packages with water in the correct area and magic happens. It all tasted very sweet  and flavorless. The faux sticky rice did taste like something called Ramune. She says it’s like lemon lime Sweet Tarts. I’d say grape Sweet Tarts and JuicyFruit mixed. It isn’t something that is tolerant in my taste pallet and the texture was def a turn off.  I’m glad I bought it but I don’t think I’d do it again.

I just realized I can’t post pictures of the finished product becasue there are customers numbers written on the pad of paper in the backround and I’m not savy enough to photoshop them out. Sorry loves.

I also purchased several Japanese KitKat bars. They were super crazy in terms of my standards. I had strawberry, tea, green tea, cheesecake, vanilla ice cream, bitter chocolate, chili infused chocolate- my favorite, purple potato, wasabi, and some candied bean thing. I was not a fan of it.  I passed them out at work for Valentines day. I think my co-workers enjoyed them.

I’m trying to get a candy swap going with my friend in the Netherlands. I hope this works out. I’d love to write and show you guys if it happens.

It kind of bums me out that cassette tapes reign over the music world is over. I like the nostalgic feel of it.  Unfortunately, cassette tapes are obsolete. Actually, CD’s are getting to be that way as well. Any how, a solution to this would be found at ThinkGeek.com. It’s a USB that looks like a cassette tape.

I originally saw this on a different website. My little sister is wanting to make a mixed tape for her boyfriend for their 1st anniversary. I think it’s really neat. I don’t have a significant other or any sort of romantic interest at the moment but if I did I think I’d order this and make them a mixed tape. I think gifts that are personal mean more than flowers and candy.

The songs that I’d put on a mix tape really would depend on the person, but I composed a list of generic love songs today at work.

Here they are:

So that’s basically a guideline. I’d keep going but I think I’d post all of YouTube on there.

If you guys have any suggestions on what would make a good mix tape song feel free to post it in the comments! I love hearing what other people like to listen to!

I’ve been seeing this list float around on Pinterest.com of the 10 Books Every Girl Should Read in her Twenties. I decided to check it out and it was literally crap. I have no interest in reading books by Jane Austen, Confessions of a Shopaholic, or that one dude who wrote The Notebook. I actually don’t know if the last one was on the list because I stopped reading it after I saw Pride and Prejudiced on there. I’m sure it’s a really great book, if you’re into that kind of crappy sappy lovey dovey type stuff, but it is not for me. So I’ve decided to list some of my favorite books. These are the books that have literally stuck with me and I can still tell you every detail in them. Some of them are children’s books but they are a must read, in my opinion. Also, after you read what I write down if you want to add any books that you think I may be interested in feel free to comment them down below!

• The Lord of The Rings Trilogy by J.R.R Tolkien
• The Giver by Louis Lowry
• Walk Two Moons by Shannon Creech
• The Watcher by James Howe
• Gone With The Wind by Margaret Mitchell
• The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
• Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling
• Hairstyles of the Damned by Joe Meno
• Sex, Drugs, and Coco Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto by Chuck Klosterman
• 1984 by George Orwell ( I will add that I actually hate this book with a firey passion but this is something that I feel everyone should read at one point in their life. )
• To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee
• The Color Purple by Alice Walker
• Wicked (The Entire Wicked Years Series) by Gregory Maguire
• Go Ask Alice
• Grimm’s Fairy Tales
• The Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum
• White Oleander By Janet Fitch
• Snow Falling on Cedars by David Guterson
• The Wind Blows Backwards by Mary Downing Hahn
• False Memory by Dean Koontz
• Interview with a Vampire, The Vampire Lestat, and The Queen of the Damned by Anne Rice

My love for the boy wizard started when I was 11 years old. I never really liked to read and then I picked up Harry Potter and the Philosophers/Sorcerers Stone. My mind was blown and I was hooked. I couldn’t stop reading it. There was only one problem with this, my parents started to take interest in what I was doing. Normally, this wouldn’t be a problem but when your parents are religious conservatives it becomes a problem. They did have my best interest, or what they thought it was, in mind so I can’t be bitter towards it, I just feel now as an adult it was ridiculous. I’ll go on more about this maybe later or in a different blog completely.

Here’s the deal, Harry Potter is not evil and does not encourage children to start worshiping the occult. If your child is old enough to read Harry Potter and s/he believes that the wizarding world of Harry Potter is actually real and that they themselves are magical your child needs professional help because clearly your child is delusional. If you believe that the books do, you are a fucking gullible moron that needs to stop being a sheep and actually read one because you have no clue what you’re talking about.

I was on the third book, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, when my step mom asked me what I was reading. I told her. Not much happened from there until about 3 weeks before Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire was released. I had saved my allowance all summer long because I was going to buy the book. Well, I guess my parents didn’t realize what I was saving up for so they started questioning me. I told them why I was saving the money and they told me I wasn’t allowed to read Harry Potter anymore because it was pagan, evil, and an abomination before the eyes of God. That word abomination wasn’t actually used but I added so you get the picture. I literally cried.  Harry Potter does not teach children witch craft. So the book was released and I didn’t read it until second semester of 7th grade. I had to keep Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire in my locker and read it at lunch and at breaks and in between classes. It took me a couple months but I read it and enjoyed every single second of it.  After that I pretty much stopped reading altogether and lost interest in the world until after I graduated high school and was rightfully forced out of my sisters apartment. I was taken in by my best friends mom and little sister. Alyssa, my best friends little sister, had books 1-6. Hell yes. I reread and read for the first time all of them within a week and a half. Then Easter of 2007 I watched a Harry Potter movie for the very first time. I started backwards and watched the 4th first ect. Then the moment all Potterheads had been bitter sweetly waiting for-the release of the Deathly Hallows. I preordered the book  from Barnes and Noble. I had to know if Snape was really evil. I had to know Harry Potter or Voldemort. I couldn’t wait. I literally obsessed over it for a month. Released date came and no package. I literally died inside. People who hadn’t preordered were getting their books and such before me. BN had to resend me out my book and thankfully I got it in two days because I was moving from the address they were supposed to be sending it to. The only issue with it was instead of a book they sent me book on disk. Whatever-I didn’t care. I spent the next week listening to the books. Once I finished I was kind of depressed because it was over. I felt the same thing when the last movie came out, but more so because the last movie made it more final. I think if your a huge Harry Potter fan you understand this semi-depressed feeling. I think it’s because to me there will never be another great saga like Harry Potter.

About a year ago I saw a video of J.K. Rowlings talking about a new Harry Potter experience called Pottermore. Karen=Mind Blown. I immediately went to the site only to find it was in BETA and I’d have to wait. So I waited and waited and waited and then forgot about it.  Well, I didn’t really forget per-say. I’ve had a rough month mentally and a lot of things I enjoy or used to do have been put on the back burner including the Harry Potter themed birthday party I had to cancel due to my mental health in December.  I plan on still having this party but probably in October. Anyway, so about a week ago I couldn’t sleep so I got on Twitter and I saw something that sparked immediate happiness into my being- Pottermore, still BETA, is open to the public now. Then my happiness was sucked away with the realization that my shitty laptop adapter went kaput and I’d have to wait like two weeks before I could buy another so I could actually get onto Pottermore. After about two days I gave a mental “fuck this” and called my little sister Judy and had her help me. From my iPhone I registered for Pottermore.( My username is DraconisSnitch4016 for those of you also on Pottermore, add me and let me know who you are so I can nickname you). I was able to get all the way up to Gringotts before the iPhone became a handicap. I turned on my Wii and logged into Pottermore via the Internet Channel powered by Opera Mobile and was able to get past Gringott’s but again became stopped at Ollivanders. It was beyond annoying. I called Judy and had her walk through the site so I could get my wand, sycamore with a unicorn core-brittle, and walk me through getting sorted. I had been kind of nervous about this. I picture myself as nervous as the first years in the book. Not Hufflepuff…please god not Hufflepuff…

“Or perhaps in Slytherin,
You’ll make your real friends,
Those cunning folk use any means,
To achieve their ends.“

Slytherin! I’m a Slytherin! Emerald and silver all the way!! I was so freaking excited and happy that the Sorting Hat placed me here! I always saw myself being in Ravenclaw or Slytherin and have even been told I’d make an excellent Death Eater. Something that I find kind of humorus is that all 3 of my siblings were place in all different houses. Judy-Ravenclaw, Jake-Gryffindor, Gwen- Hufflepuff, and myself being a Slytherin. How unlike minded are we?!

I’ve finished up the first book via the site and can’t wait to move on to the second!

If you’ve never picked up Harry Potter, seriously, pick it up and give it a chance. It really is worth it. Also, sign up for Pottermore it’s super fun!

Concluding this, I leave you with a quote from Alan Rickman because I hope to be just like this.

“When I’m 80 years old and sitting in my rocking chair, I’ll be reading Harry Potter. And my family will say to me, “After all this time?” And I will say, “Always.”
― Alan Rickman

Last night I was watching The X-files. In the episode that I was watching a man was executed with an electric chair.  I am a naturally curious person so I “wikied” it. One thing lead to another and I reached the weird part of the Internet. You know, that place you get where you scratch your head thinking what-the-fuck but you can’t stop reading or looking at what you’re viewing. I originally wanted to see if anyone had ever survived the electric chair  but I wound up on 10 Evil People. I can’t remember where it was so I can’t link you but I will tell you about one. I’ve thought about her constantly today. I know that’s odd and morbid but I can’t help it. I’m in disbelief.

Marie Delphine LaLaurie

Madame LaLaurie was a beautiful and wealthy socialite in New Orleans during the early 1800′s. After she married her last husband, Leonard Louis Nicolas LaLaurie, she had this epic mansion on Royal Street in central New Orleans built. Like many in those days she owned slaves and kept a slaves quarter attached to the house. It was reported that in public she was polite to African American slaves and seemed to care about her own slaves health (in public) even though it was said by a woman called  Harriet Martineau that the slaves seemed “singularly haggard and wretched”. She even emancipated two slaves.

There were, however, rumors that LaLaurie was extremely cruel and abusive to her to her slaves. One of her neighbors reported that LaLaurie was chasing a slave girl around with a whip. To avoid being beaten the little girl jump out of a window falling to her death. The same Martineau wrote about how LaLaurie would keep her kitchen slaves cuffed to the stove. Apparently she would beat the crap out of her kids if she found out that the children gave the slaves food.

On  April 10, 1834 a fire broke out in Madame LaLaurie’s salve quarters. LaLaurie refused to give help the key so bystanders broke the doors down.

Ok, this next part is really graphic so if you can’t handle it stop reading.

It’s rumored that the fire was actually started by a few of the slaves. When help busted through the door they found two slaves that were emaciated shackled to the stove and wore spiked iron collars so they had limited movement of their heads. It was reported that their skin had been flayed with a whip. This isn’t anything like what they found in the attic.

When the went upstairs the found “7 or more” tortured and mutilated slaves suspended with an iron collar by the neck with their limbs ripped from one end to the other. There was one slave that was in a dog cage. Her arms had been broken and re-positioned to look like a crab. Another was said to have had a crude sex change preformed. One woman had all her limbs cut off, skin peeled off in circles, and limbs reattached in other places. They found several dead bodies where their lips had been sewed shut so they would starve to death. Before their mouths were sewn shut their mouths were filled with animal crap. A man had his eyes gouged out, his finger nails ripped off from the root, ears ripped to shreds, holes dug out of his buttocks, and his intestines knotted and wrapped around his waste. Apparently they were also taking sharp sticks and stabbing the slaves in the heads and jumbling their brains up.

When the slaves were discovered they begged that the help put them out of their misery. Instead they were taken to a jail and put on display so people could see what had happened to them. Around 4000 people came to view them so they could see for themselves it wasn’t made up.

LaLaurie managed to escape for awhile and was never punished for her actions.

I’ve blogged about this before but I am huge into equality. I don’t care if you black, white, male, female, gay, or straight as a human being it is your right to love, get married, and start a family with whoever you want. Period. If you disagree move along to the next post.

I like to make rainbow cupcakes for the occasion.  I actually like to make cupcakes for any occasion but Gay Pride gives me the excuse to make rainbow ones! These are super easy to make.

Rainbow Cupcakes

• WHITE cake mix ( I have tried all different brands of cake mix for this and Betty Crocker is by far the best for colorful cuppy cakes!)
• Water, vegetable oil and egg whites called for on cake mix box
• WHITE cupcake liners. ( I’m capitalizing this because it’s important. The batter will dye the paper liners.)
• Wilton Food Color Gels

Mix the cake batter, water, vegetable oil, and egg whites according to the box.  Separate your batter into 7 parts.  Add your food gel according to ROYBIV. I used pink because I believe in the Lisa Frank rainbow .

I know… My blinds are messed up and ghetto in this picture. My chihuahua, Toby, has anxiety problems and broke out of his kennel while I was at work in October. He destroyed the blinds in the rooms that have the most traffic outside because he could hear people.

Layer the cake batter.

Bake according to the box instructions. I believe from memory it’s 350 for 12 minutes.

Frost them.

Stuff your face.